The Holiday Turkey Arrives

Not 30 minutes later, the door bell rang and in walked a diver I’d never seen before. He had a regulator bag in hand — a sure sign there was a reg inside he wanted to have serviced.

Moreover, the diver’s general appearance and demeanor…well, you should never judge a book by its cover, but this guy just plain looked like a Goof. As it turned out, appearances were not deceiving.

“Hi there. What have you got for us?” I asked (already knowing the answer).

“I need you to check my regulator out,” the turkey replied, unzipping the bag, “The octopus is leaking.”

“When was the last time you had your regulator serviced?” I asked.

“Oh, about three years ago. But everything was working fine when I used it last summer,” the turkey answered, as if this justified going two years past the manufacturer’s recommended service interval.

It’s not the years. It’s not the mileage. It’s both. »

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